11/23/2010 1:07pm Waffle House

Todays adventure took me to the Waffle House off of I-40 in Durham NC. Lets just say I was desperate. Now, I love to eat at Waffle House (yes I know I'm white trash) but, I hate pooping there. First things first, the bathroom smelled horrific. Like every trucker had relations with "lot lizzards" in there. Now, I have to ask the question! Why piss all over the sit down toilet when there is a urinal right next to it? IT'S A ONE MAN BATHROOM! So first off, I had to clean the toilet to be able to use it. When I sat down all I could think was how many drunk, high, or diseased people have sat on this porcelain throne. That thought became fear when my flush sprayed water back at me! Now all I could think were questions like; do I have aids now? Can I get high from meth germs, and, why God why?! I noticed the paint on the wall next to the urinal was corroded from piss splash. Seriously, you can't hit the bowl?. But also, I must remember that the average Waffle House patron is shall we say rather inebriated. Today's crap was slick so I shall call them "cleaveland sliders". I also felt rushed due to the fact that "Seabass" could come through that door any minute and show me a good time. 4 wipes.